Pages of Starlight: Is Your Blog A Secret?

Friday, May 22, 2015

Is Your Blog A Secret?

The idea for this topic came to me when I realized that I've had my blog for over a year, and it's only been in the past couple months that I told anyone about it. I was talking to my mom (who happens to be my boss) about setting up a website for her business. We were talking about something and I mentioned that I looked it up for my blog. "Yeah, I've got a blog," I said. "Oh, what do you blog?" she asked. "Books," - of course. Then she asked me "does anyone blog you?" I mean, I love my mom, but sometimes I have no idea what she's even talking about.

Anyway, it's not like I'm embarrassed that I have a blog. Never that. But it's for me. I know that if my family knew about it and could read it whenever they wanted, then I'd feel differently about it. I'm really a different person on the internet than I am around most people. I think the only person that gets the full brunt of my weirdness in person is my brother with my mom running a close-ish second. (The former of which I don't think reads books and the latter of which only likes squeaky-clean books.)

I'm a bit shy and terrible at small talk but on my blog, I really feel like I can be myself. I also am slowly reaching a point where I don't feel judged by my readers/other bloggers. (Yeah, I know, this is all in my head because most of you are way too nice to be like that. But I still feel it.)

I've heard from some people how their family/friends are involved in their blog (like guest posts) and from others where no one even knows they have a blog.

How about you? Would you consider your blog a secret? Or do you scream from the rooftops? Maybe you're like me and don't consider your blog a secret - but don't talk about it either?

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nikihawkes 21p · 512 weeks ago

I feel like I want to scream about it from the rooftops, but whenever the opportunity presents itself to talk about it I always feel a bit awkward. I think almost everybody I know is aware that I have a book blog, but that's mostly because I share occasional posts on Facebook. It definitely helps matters that I am a former bookseller, so most of my friends are booklovers who are still in the industry. It's a lot easier to talk about books with the crowd like that if you know what I mean. :-)
Honestly, you have one of my favorite blogs – one of the rare few I visit at least once a week – so I personally think if anybody should be talking about their blog, it should be you. Great content! :-)
My recent post Mini Book Review: Ever After by Kim Harrison

1 reply · active 511 weeks ago

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AmyAelleah 80p · 511 weeks ago

Oh..wow...Thank you so much. I really don't know what to say. (I feel a little flabbergasted.)

Yeah, I think it would be easier to talk about a book blog to booklovers - especially those in the industry. Sometimes when you talk about books to non-readers, I swear that I can hear them thinking 'is she ever going to shut up'. And, unfortunately, most of the people I talk to often don't read. At all, I think. So, when I'm around them I tend to clam up a little about books.

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fictionalskylines 36p · 512 weeks ago

My blog is a secret right now, not even my closest friends are aware of its existence. I'm sure if I ever told them that I was blogging about books, they'd say something like "how do you keep doing that?/or how do you enjoy that?" and I don't hate them for not understanding this part of me but this is also a huge reason why I made a book blog: to find people who understand why i enjoy this and enjoy it themselves.

I'm horrific at small-talk too and I guess I'm timid when it comes to meeting new people (but once I get to know and like them, I become Beyonce or something) but my blog is a really relaxed place even if it's open to all the strangers in the world so I get how you feel about that :") You should only tell someone in your "real" life about your blog if you feel comfortable telling them.
My recent post Ju Jabbers: YA Protagonists As The "Backbone of the Family"

1 reply · active 511 weeks ago

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AmyAelleah 80p · 511 weeks ago

I totally know how you feel. I started this blog for two reasons. The first being that I had no one in my life to talk to about books. I didn't know anyone that reads as much as me - and I especially didn't know anyone that read the same type of books. So, I just needed someone to talk to. The other reason is that I am a naturally quiet person to strangers. I wouldn't be surprised if people think I'm cold or snobby! (But, once I get to know someone, I can talk their ear off.) For me, I saw talking about something that I love to other like minded people as a great opportunity to break out a little. It has worked wonders, let me tell you!

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Erin · 512 weeks ago

I'm the same way! My book blog isn't a secret, my family does know about it, but I hardly ever talk about it. It is a personal thing, something I do purely because I enjoy doing it. Whenever I mention my blog to my friends, I'm surprised to find that I have not told most of them before. It isn't a secret and I am not embarrassed about it, but I'm always a bit awkward about it.
My recent post The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

1 reply · active 511 weeks ago

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AmyAelleah 80p · 511 weeks ago

I know what you mean. I'm not embarrassed at all about my blog, but it's for me. And I have this really strange feeling that if I start telling people about my blog that, eventually, someone will want to visit me on it. That's something I really don't think I'd be comfortable with.

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Rachel · 511 weeks ago

Thanks for sharing this Amy. I don't talk about my blog with my friends and family that much, I think most of them are aware that it exists. As you said, it feels personal and when you're aware of people reading it it makes you think about it differently, almost like you have to censor parts or something.

I share my blog with my friend Kerr and that, to me, is fine because we feel and think pretty much the same and I know she will never judge what I write, but I think I would feel embarrassed to know that my mother (who I also work with) was reading my reviews.

My recent post Review: Crimson Bound

1 reply · active 511 weeks ago

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AmyAelleah 80p · 511 weeks ago

That's it exactly! I totally would not be comfortable knowing that my family could get on here and read my stuff. I think I'd always be editing myself, wondering what my family would think of this topic or that review. (And my reading tastes.) I don't often feel judged by my family (they're kind of great that way) but I think, if people I knew offline were reading my stuff, that I'd probably tone it down a bit. Because I'm a lot more outgoing on the internet than I am in person and everyone that knows me knows that I'm a quiet person. I think I'd feel really uncomfortable if people I saw every day (or every week) read me being so...well...THIS all the time.

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Veronika · 511 weeks ago

I wouldn't exactly consider my blog a secret. My close friends know about it, but thankfully they are not interested enough to read it. And when they do read it, I'd rather not know about it. My mom and dad both know about my blog but thankfully they don't speak English, or just in a very basic level, so they won't really understand any of what I write anyway. Which is awesome because I don't have to keep my blog as a secret but they still don't read it haha.
Thanks for sharing, Amy. :)
My recent post Ten Books I Plan To Have In My Beach Bag This Summer

1 reply · active 511 weeks ago

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AmyAelleah 80p · 511 weeks ago

I really think that if more people knew about my blog, they would be mostly disinterested too. Which is kind of nice. I at least don't have to worry about the 'what's it called?' 'can I come visit?' Though I do think that if my sister ever found out she'd be a little...judgmental about it - probably wondering why I'd want to do this. (Needless to say, that's one person I never plan on telling about this.) But, at least family aren't dropping by and getting in my space. (And that just sounds terrible, doesn't it.)

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Elizabeth · 511 weeks ago

Ahahahahah I totally cracked up "Does anyone blog you" hahaha. But for reals. That is my grandmother, and at one point probably would have been my mom too. (They've become quite technology savvy though, I'm impressed I have to say).

And yeah, I realized I was in this weird space where I have this thing I'm super proud of (my blog) but...I didn't want to talk about it to people I know about haha! I actually actively made myself bring it up as casually as I could if I had a thought that related to it instead of squishing it down, because once I had that realization it felt like I WAS trying to hide it. It was weird.

I have to say it has changed things for me a bit. I recently had started to type of a post that hinged on me being bi, which isn't something I'm ashamed of/care if people know, but then it occurred to me that my family actually doesn't know that, and perhaps finding out through a blog post is not the kindest way to drop that on them. (I've been in a committed relationship for almost seven years and I didn't realize I was bi until a few years into the relationship, so it never seemed like something I needed to tell them.) So now...I have to decide where I go from here, but it's definitely a door you can't close once people find out you have one haha.
My recent post A Tribute to Tanith Lee

1 reply · active 511 weeks ago

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AmyAelleah 80p · 511 weeks ago

My mom does a pretty good job most of the time, but sometimes it's just like 'okay, we're back to the stone age'.

I know what you mean. Several times during a conversation, this thought crossed my mind about how this pertained to something on my blog - but I didn't say it. Once I did mention it, I started wondering why I felt like people finding out was such a bit deal. (Because, seriously, no one I know offline would be interested in a blog devoted to books, anyway. So there was never any real danger of them wanting to read it.) There's probably a lot of things about me that readers of my blog know that members of my family don't. And not because I'm embarrassed about it (not much embarrasses me anyhow) but because there are just some topics that never come up. Now I'm starting to wonder what my family would think if they knew some of these things... (Though, in truth, some of them would not be surprised.)

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mithrril 23p · 510 weeks ago

Well, I'll tell anyone who will listen about my blog. But, then again, I don't actually want my real life family and friends to read my posts...Haha! I just want them to look at it and move on I guess. I'm too self conscious to picture them reading what I wrote and possibly finding errors. I talk about my blog all of the time with my husband and I did do a guest post from him, but I also got him to promise not to read any of my posts.

Thinking about my family reading my blog and finding things that I missed or are wrong is daunting to me. I don't care as much about strangers reading though. I try to be more outgoing on the internet because, like you, I'm shy in real life. I don't think I do that well with social interaction online either, but I do feel more comfortable rambling on and joking around if I'm on my blog versus being in person with people.
My recent post Award – Beautiful Blogger Award

1 reply · active 509 weeks ago

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AmyAelleah 80p · 509 weeks ago

I know exactly what you mean. It's like 'sure, you can see it, but I'm not wanting you to actually read it'. Or, as that saying goes 'move along, nothing to see here'. I do push myself more online that I do in person. I agree with you on being more comfortable online - because I totally am. I'm also much less concerned about looking like a fool. I don't know why. Maybe because no one can see me. The only problem, I've got a really sarcastic humor, so I'm always afraid that won't translate well on the internet. (So far though, no one's told me I was being mean, so I'll take that as a good sign.)

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